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ใ‚จใƒƒใ‚ปใ‚ค

๐ŸŒธใ€ๆ‹ๆ„›ใ€‘่‡ชๅˆ†ใ‹ใ‚‰ๅˆฅใ‚ŒใŸใฎใซใ€ๅฏ‚ใ—ใ„ใƒปใƒปใƒปใ“ใฎๆ„Ÿๆƒ…ใฏ๏ผŸ

่‡ชๅˆ†ใ‹ใ‚‰้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚’ๆ–ญใฃใŸใฎใซ๏ผˆ่‡ชๅˆ†ใ‹ใ‚‰ๅˆฅใ‚ŒใŸใฎใซ๏ผ‰ใ€ๅฏ‚ใ—ใŒใ‚‹ไบบใŒใ„ใ‚‹ใ‘ใฉใ€ใชใœใ ใ‚ใ†ใญ๏ผŸ้›ขใ‚ŒใŸใ‹ใฃใŸใ‹ใ‚‰ๅˆฅใ‚ŒใŸใ‚ˆใญ๏ผŸใ€€้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚’ๅˆ‡ใ‚ŠใŸใ‹ใฃใŸใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใฏใชใ„ใฎ๏ผŸ

Why do some people feel lonely even though they were the ones who pulled the plug on their relationships? Didn’t they want to separate because they wanted to be independent? Didn’t they want to stop the connection?

 

็งใ€ใใฎๅ•ใ„ใซ็ญ”ใˆใ‚‰ใ‚Œใ‚‹ใจๆ€ใ†ใ€‚่‡ช่บซใฎ็ตŒ้จ“ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€ใญใ€‚

I think I have the answer, and it’s based on my own experience.

 

ๅ…ƒๆ‹ไบบใจ๏ผˆ่‡ชๅˆ†ใ‹ใ‚‰๏ผ‰ๅˆฅใ‚Œใฆใ‚‚ใ€ใŸใ„ใฆใ„ๆ™‚้–“ใŒใŸใคใจใ€ๅฏ‚ใ—ใๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ‚‹ไบบใŒใ„ใ‚‹ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚ๆœ€ๅˆ็งใฏใ€ๅ…ƒๆ‹ไบบใŒๆ‹ใ—ใ„ใ‹ใ‚‰ใƒปใƒปใƒปใชใ‚“ใฆๆ€ใฃใฆใ„ใŸใ‘ใฉใ€ใใ‚Œใฏ้•ใฃใŸใ€‚

Whenever some people separated from their ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend, after a while, they begin to feel lonely. At first I thought it must be because of missing their exes. But that idea was wrong.

 

ใชใœ้•ใ†ใ‹ใฃใฆ๏ผŸๆ‹ไบบใจ๏ผˆ่‡ชๅˆ†ใ‹ใ‚‰๏ผ‰ๅˆฅใ‚Œใ‚’ๆฑบใ‚ใฆใ‚‚ใ€ๅฏ‚ใ—ใๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ‚‹ไบบใฏใ€ๅˆฅใฎไฝ•ใ‹ใŒๆ‹ใ—ใ„ใ‚“ใ ใ‚ˆใ€‚ใใ—ใฆใใ‚Œใฏใƒปใƒปใƒปไปฒ่‰ฏใไบคใ‚ใ—ใฆใ„ใŸไผš่ฉฑใ€‚”ใใฎไบบ”ใŒๆ‹ใ—ใ„ใ‚“ใ˜ใ‚ƒใชใ„ใ€‚”ใใฎ้–ขไฟ‚”ใŒๆ‹ใ—ใ„ใ‚“ใ ใ‚ˆใ€‚

Why is it wrong? Because those people who broke up with their exes and started to feel lonely were longing for something else and that is intimate communication. They don’t miss the person, they actually miss the relationship.

 

็งใฏใ‹ใคใฆใจใฆใ‚‚่‡ชๅทฑไธญใ ใฃใŸใ€‚่‡ชๅˆ†ใ‹ใ‚‰ๅˆฅใ‚Œใฆใ‚‚ใ€ๅพŒใซใชใ‚‹ใจๅฏ‚ใ—ใๆ„Ÿใ˜ใŸใ‚ˆใ€‚ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใฉใ†ใ—ใฆใ‚‚ใƒกใƒผใƒซใ‚’้€ใ‚‰ใšใซใฏใ„ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใชใ‹ใฃใŸใ€‚ไปŠใชใ‚‰ๅˆ†ใ‹ใ‚‹๏ผ็งใฏ้–“้•ใฃใฆใŸใ€‚ๅฝผใŒๆ‹ใ—ใ‹ใฃใŸใ‚“ใ˜ใ‚ƒใชใใ€ไบคใ‚ใ—ใฆใใŸใ‚„ใ‚Šๅ–ใ‚ŠใŒๆ‹ใ—ใ‹ใฃใŸใ€‚ๅฏ‚ใ—ใ„ใฎใฏใ€”็น‹ใŒใ‚ŠใŒ็„กใใชใฃใŸใ“ใจ”ใ ใฃใŸใ€‚

I used to be very self-centered. I was often ditches my ex-boyfriends. Later, I felt very lonely, so I couldnโ€™t help sending them text messages. Now, I know that I was very wrong. I didnโ€™t miss them, but missed the communication with them. What I miss was the relationship.

 

ใ‚‚ใ†ไธ€ใค่จ€ใ‚ใ›ใฆใ€‚่‰ฏใ„้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚’ไฟใคใŸใ‚ใซใ€ๅฆฅๅ”ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใจใ€ไธธใใชใ‚‹ๆ–นๆณ•ใ‚’ๅญฆใฐใชใ„ใจใ„ใ‘ใชใ‹ใฃใŸใ€‚่‡ชๅทฑไธญๅฟƒ็š„ใชไบบใฎ็‰นๅพดใฃใฆใ€ๅธธใซใ€Œ็งใฏใญใ€ใ€ใ€Œ็งใŒใญใ€ใ€ใ“ใ‚“ใชๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ‚ˆใญใ€‚ใ‚‚ใกใ‚ใ‚“็งใ‚‚ใใ†ใ ใฃใŸใ€‚

One more thing, In order to keep the relationship good, I should have learned how to give in and find a way to mellow out. The typical character of the self-centered people is, they always say “I…”, “I…”, “I…” something like that. And, so did I.

 

้–ขไฟ‚ใฃใฆใ€ๅŒๆ–นๅ‘้“่ทฏใงใ‚ใ‚‹ในใ๏ผˆใคใพใ‚Šใ€ใŠไบ’ใ„ใ•ใพโ€ฆ๏ผ‰ใ€‚ใ€Œใ‚ฎใƒ–๏ผ†ใƒ†ใ‚คใ‚ฏใ€ใŒ่‰ฏๅฅฝใช้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚’ไฟใคใŸใ‚ใฎ้‡่ฆใช็‚นใ ใ‚ˆใ€‚

Relationships should be a two way street. โ€œGive and takeโ€ is the key to a successful relationship.

 

๏ฝžๅ˜่ชž๏ฝž

๏ฝžๅ˜่ชž๏ผšใ€Œๅˆฅใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ€ใ€Œ้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚’ๆ–ญใคใ€ใฎใ„ใ‚ใ„ใ‚ใช่จ€ใ„ๆ–น๏ฝž

โ—†pull the plug on something๏ผš๏ผˆ๏ฝžใฎใƒ—ใƒฉใ‚ฐ๏ผปๆ “๏ผฝใ‚’ๆŠœใใจใ„ใ†ๆ„ๅ‘ณใ‹ใ‚‰๏ผ‰ใ€€๏ฝžใ‹ใ‚‰ๆ’ค้€€ใ™ใ‚‹ใ€ๆ–ญใคใ€ๆ‰‹ใ‚’ๅผ•ใใชใฉ

โ—†drop someone like a hot potato๏ผšใ€€๏ผˆไบบ๏ผ‰ใจใฎ้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚’ๆ–ญใค

โ—†ditch someone๏ผš๏ผˆใ‚ใพใ‚ŠไธŠๅ“ใช่จ€ใ„ๆ–นใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใŒ๏ผ‰ไบบใ‚’ๆจใฆใ‚‹๏ผˆ๏ผๅˆฅใ‚Œใ‚‹๏ผ‰

โ—†break up with someoneใ€€๏ผš๏ผˆไบบ๏ผ‰ใจๅˆฅใ‚Œใ‚‹

โ—†separate from someoneใ€€๏ผš๏ผˆไบบ๏ผ‰ใจๅˆฅใ‚Œใ‚‹

ใƒปmellow ใ€mรฉloสŠใ€‘ ๅ‹•่ฉž๏ผš๏ผˆๅŽณใ—ใ•ใ‚„ใ‚คใƒฉใ‚คใƒฉใ€็ฅž็ตŒ่ณชใช่ฆ็ด ใŒๆธ›ใ‚Š๏ผ‰ไธธใ็ฉใ‚„ใ‹ใซใชใ‚‹

๏ฝžmellowใซใคใ„ใฆ๏ฝž

โ—†mellow ใ€mรฉloสŠใ€‘ ๅ‹•่ฉž๏ผš๏ผˆๅŽณใ—ใ•ใ‚„ใ‚คใƒฉใ‚คใƒฉใ€็ฅž็ตŒ่ณชใช่ฆ็ด ใŒๆธ›ใ‚Š๏ผ‰ไธธใ็ฉใ‚„ใ‹ใซใชใ‚‹

ย ๏ผto become or to cause (someone or something) to become less harsh, irritating, nervous, etc.

 

ไพ‹: She was a tough and demanding teacher, but she has mellowed in her old age.

๏ผˆๅฝผๅฅณใฏๅŽณใ—ใใใคใ„ๅ…ˆ็”Ÿใ ใฃใŸใŒใ€ๅนดใ‚’ๅ–ใ‚‹ใจไธธใใชใฃใŸใ€‚๏ผ‰

 

โ€ป่‹ฑไผš่ฉฑใฎๅ…ˆ็”Ÿใฎใ‚ณใƒกใƒณใƒˆ

โ€œmellowโ€, “mellow down“, “mellow out“ใฏๅŒใ˜ๆ„ๅ‘ณใงใ™ใŒใ€ใ“ใฎไธญใงโ€œmellow outโ€ใŒไธ€็•ชไฝฟใ‚ใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใงใ™ใ€‚

 

ใ‚‚ใ†ไธ€ใคใ€ๅฝขๅฎน่ฉžใ‚‚ใ”็ดนไป‹ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚

โ—†mellow ใ€mรฉloสŠใ€‘ๅฝขๅฎน่ฉž๏ผšโ‘ ใ‚ˆใ็†Ÿใ—ใŸใ€็†Ÿใ‚ŒใŸใ€€โ‘ก๏ผˆๅนดใ‚’ๅ–ใ‚Š็ตŒ้จ“ใ‚’็ฉใ‚“ใง๏ผ‰ๆธฉๅŽšใซใชใฃใŸใ€ๅ††็†Ÿใ—ใŸใ€็ฉๅฅใช็ญ‰

โ‘ ไพ‹๏ผš This banana is too mellow to eat. ใ“ใฎใƒใƒŠใƒŠใฏ็†Ÿใ—้ŽใŽใฆใ‚‹ใ€‚

โ‘กไพ‹๏ผšGetting older and being influenced by our experience, we tend to be mellow.ใ€€ๅนดใ‚’ๅ–ใ‚Š็ตŒ้จ“ใ‚’็ฉใ‚“ใงใ„ใใจใ€็งใŸใกใฏไธธใใชใฃใฆใ„ใใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™ใ€‚

 

๏ฝžใƒใ‚คใƒณใƒˆ๏ฝž

โ€œMellow outโ€ใฏๅ…ˆใปใฉ่ฟฐในใŸใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ€ไธธใ็ฉใ‚„ใ‹ใซใชใ‚‹ๆ„ๅ‘ณใงไฝฟใ‚ใ‚Œใพใ™ใŒใ€

โ€œMellowโ€ใ ใจใ€้ฃŸใน็‰ฉใฎใ€Œ็†Ÿใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ€ใ€Œ็†Ÿใ™ใ€ใจใ„ใ†ๆ„ๅ‘ณใซใชใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใงใ™ใ€‚

ไพ‹๏ผšThis banana has mellowed too much.ใ€€ใ“ใฎใƒใƒŠใƒŠใฏ็†Ÿใ‚Œใ™ใŽใŸใ€‚

 

ใƒปa two way street:ใ€€็‰‡ๆ–น่ปŠ็ทšใฎ้“่ทฏใงใฏใชใใ€ๅŒๆ–นๅ‘ใฎ้“่ทฏใจใ„ใ†ๆ„ๅ‘ณใงใ™ใ€‚่ฟ‘ใ„ๆ„ๅ‘ณใฏใ€Œใ‚ฎใƒ–๏ผ†ใƒ†ใ‚คใ‚ฏใ€ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ‹ใ€‚ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚’ไฝฟใฃใฆใ€ŒใŠไบ’ใ„ใ•ใพใ€ใจใ„ใ†ๆ„ๅ‘ณใงใ‚‚ไฝฟใ‚ใ‚Œใพใ™ใ€‚