どんなに準備しても、上手くいかなさすぎる時はあったし、どんなに考えて行動しても、勇気を出して言ってみても、人間関係がこじれすぎる時はあったし 、どんなに頑張っても、資格試験に落ちる時もあった。

No matter how much I prepared for things in advance, there were still some things that didn’t go well. Regardless of how much contemplation I did, and courage I took to say and do things, there were still times when relationships went haywire. When taking a test for instance, despite all the efforts I put into studying, there were still some exams which I couldn’t pass.



Then, my heart got broken.  



The question “Why?” kept running in my head.




“Why did I get such a bullshit result?”, “Why me?”, “I’m already tired…” or “I’m so fed up with everything”.

A lot of poisons overloaded in my heart.



Then I came to realize that the most important thing is not finding the best solutions and answers to these questions. Instead, trying to detox and purify my poisoned heart works much better.



I can’t do anything with a contaminated heart. It affects all of me.




Sometimes, I made complaints to myself or my friends, even though everything was purely my decision. Sometimes I cried because I felt regretful and sad. Sometimes, I zoned out.



Then, when I detoxed and cleansed it completely, I began to feel empowered in order to move forward again!



This brings me to talk to myself and say “I’ll try again!”, “I’ll change my ways next time”, and “Just wait, the future me. I’ll definitely solve this problem!”



Even though I lose my heart many times, I know I’ll get over it again and again.



People have different healing processes. There might be some who get over naturally, while others need help from internal and external forces. I’m more of the latter. I might cry and cry, complain to myself or friends. Once I start feeling down, I feel completely down and it tends to spiral downward, until I find a way to release it.




Today, I lost my will and felt completely down. Then I cried all my tears and started feeling better.

Then I remind myself, “Tomorrow is another day, don’t lose over yourself.”



・prepare for~: ~に向けて準備する

— prepareの使い方3つ–

◆自動詞(S + prepare): ~に向けて準備する
 ※「何の準備か」を伝える時、”for the trip” “for the exam”などのように、接続詞forを用います。

◆他動詞(S + prepare +※必ず目的語): ~を準備する



自動詞ですが受動態バージョンです。これは、「 I’m ready」と同じ意味で、「会議に参加する準備が出来ている」”I’m ready to attend the meeting”と同じ意味です。



サイト:【単語】prepare, prepare for, be prepared の違い | English & Chinese Lab (english-chinese-lab.com)

・ go haywire【heɪ.waɪɚ】:手に負えなくなる

・get broken:壊れる

・心が折れる「my heart got broken」の類語:

「dishearten【他動詞】落胆させる」を使って、「It disheartens me」と言うこともできます。



A lot of poisons overloaded in my heart.(毒がいっぱい心の中に出てきた)の別の表現は、

・A lot of poisons conquered my heart. (沢山の毒が私の心を制服した)




・A lot of poisons wrapped my heart. (沢山の毒が私の心を覆った)

※wrap 【ræp】動詞:覆う、包む

・make complaints to+人:~に弱音を吐く

他の言い方にwhine【hwaɪn】 (to+人)動詞:愚痴を言う、もあります。

・purely【pjˈʊɚli】副詞:まったく(=completely, totally, 100%)


What he said was purely wrong.


・zone out:ぼーっとする


◆daydream【déɪdrìːm】(名詞:空想、夢想), (自動詞:空想にふける、ぼーっとする):

例文)When I was too shocked to hear something, I had a daydream for a while/or I daydreamed.



◆space out(動詞):

例文)When she was talking to me, the topic was not so interesting that I was spacing out.



◆(be) in a daze【déɪz】

例文)I don’t like a meeting held just after lunch. No matter when it is held, I might be in a daze.




“This brings me to talk to myself and saying.”

この表現“bring 人+to do”は、(人が)~する気になる、という意味です。


・His idea brought me to look for the other job.




”The future me”とは、「未来の私」という意味ですが、似た表現が沢山あります。

◆今の私:”the current me”, “the present me”, ”the now me”

◆過去の私:”the past me”

◆その時の私:“the then me”

◆未来の私:“the future me”



・Whenever I faced problems, I learned from what the past me did.



・The then me lost myself, that’s why I made a slip of the tongue.


・be more of:どちらかと言うと~だ、むしろ~だ等

・spiral downward(動詞):(らせん状に)急降下する、悪循環を生むなどの意味で使われます。

— spiral downwardについて–


・spiral downward (動詞):(らせん状に)急降下する

1. How you live now shows spiraling downward.

※”spiraling downward”は、showの目的語なので、動名詞となり(spiral+ing downward)直訳は「急降下すること」となります。


2. The price has been spiraled downward.



・downward spiral (可算名詞):負のスパイラル

例文: Let’s stop the downward spiral!



先生に反対語があるのか(”it spirals upwards”と言うのか)聞いてみたら、